The technician began the treatment:
Teeth cleaning: Well, what can I say? It wasn't what I expected ... It was just like being at the Vet's. For a moment, my memory took me to a distant place: the vet tech (their eyes looking at the ceiling and shaking their head): "Miss Diva,
this won't hurt ... why is she so difficult? ... Thank goodness, our patients are not all like this."
Segue to the present reality: my face felt like silly putty -- even the director at the theatre gives me some leeway. My paws were picked up one at a time. I will not splay my nails for cutting ... Hey! Hey! This is annoying! My gut grumbled and rumbled from the from the pit of my stomach. I will display my physical self -- to scare them. Rise up like a puffer fish! ZONK! What if I left them a "bank deposit" from the Diva bank? ... Oh, it wasn't that kind of rumble ... My ears flattened. My head resembled a bristle board. I glared at the pleb. I AM THE DIVA ... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT!
Ears: Everyone knows how sensitive Divas can be. Humans just don't get it, do they? I splayed by ears, wriggled and carried on to show them who is boss!
Pedicure: Someone forgot to tell them that I'm very ticklish - especially my PAWS!
|Excuse me, did you ask MY PERMISSION?|
|Wait ... I feel a HISS coming on|
|Where's my MOMMA -- I am NOT AMUSED!|
Au revoir, my darlings!